The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929. "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.

Mosquito repellents don't repel, they hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito sensors so they don't know you're there.

Dentists have recommended that toothbrushes be kept at least 8 feet away from the toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

American car horns beep in the tone of F.

No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are 50 years of age or older.

The 1st product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's 1st flight.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

The 1st CD pressed in the U S was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA".

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The 1st owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a PEZ dispenser.

Michael Jordan makes more money from NIKE annually than all the NIKE factory workers in Malaysia combined.

Adolph Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.

Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes.

All US presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly.

Why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? ...Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Is it ok for a veggetarian to eat animal crackers?

If a deaf boy curses does his mother wash out his hands?

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. I was in unfamiliar territory.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Remember half the people you know are below average.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I intend to live forever - so far so good.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Mind like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action there is an equal and opposite critcism.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!

Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.

Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you are a mile away from him and you have his shoes.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

I have found at my age, going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me-they were cramming for their finals.

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of emergency. I think you should write "A very good doctor."

If you take an oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philips Screwdriver?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a "whack"?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that: electricians can be delighted, musicians can be denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you that a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Duct tape is like the Force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Never ask a man the size of his spread. (Or anything else for that matter!)

Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we know?

Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

And while we're on the subject, why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why is it called "after dark"? Isn't it really "after light"?

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

Why do "wise man" and "wise guy" have opposite meanings?

Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read alright?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

If your voting could really change things, Congress would make it illegal.

A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying, "Yo"

What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm? A pimp.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.

Remember: First you pillage then you burn.

To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market reproductive organs.

Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a daily trip around the sun.

Birthdays are good for you, the more you have the longer you live.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Some of our mistakes are too much fun to make only one time.

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are dull, some are pretty, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all live in the same box.